This post was amazing.
Fashion Blog
So I’ve decided to dedicate this section of my blog to fashion. My niche? Probably busty women finding things. I find that there’s a niche for extra petite women, full figured women, women with small breast, but there are hardly any ( if any at all) blogs for woman with average figures (neither skinny nor plus sized) who have large breast. So I want to start it off. A few more updates:
- Started the South Beach Diet. I haven’t been following to carefully; I definitely had a bagel this morning and a wrap this afternoon, and I’m still hungry. I’m going home to eat some soup. I also haven’t been to the gym, which bothers me. I’m going tomorrow morning around 7. I gotta get my sexy on! I have lost weight though.
- Dating and loving it. Totally shocker since I am a serial dater.
- More and More serious about school. I think my new astrological sign has changed my personality, a lot.
- Dropped a lot of ” friends”, strengthened some others.
FASHION SPOT
I’ve decided to make this my fashion blog. My other blog, Diary of an Indifferent Woman will be for more real-life issues. Just an update.
I have a huge rant coming with updates
goal: perfecting Russian, Arabic and Chinese by the time I exit Law school. It would appear those just became the most important languages. I speak Spanish and etc but they need perfected.
LSAT
The LSAT is in just two days, one if you don’t count Friday. I am oddly calm though. I am going to do maybe two test tomorrow( Friday) then rest and sleep easy until the LSAT. I’ve decided that after the LSAT I am going to the museum for a mind-clearing and relaxation before the hussle and bussle of finals study . So much craziness. I had a conversation with my BFF yesterday and I feel free. I can finally sleep. And that is exactly what I am going to do right now. I can write the kids I tutor letters in the morning. I am not big on holidays and glittery shit. I don’t have that kinda of talent, plus I am not good with making emotional connections with people I don’t know well. Even if they are children. I’d rather tell them something substantial. Anyway, off to bed. I ate a good dinner and it’s time to get to sleep. No more 3 a.m. days. Finally!
So much work to do…
I am dedicating all day to LSAT study but I am a little tired. I think I’m going to take a nap and then get to work. I am excited to get my work done. I am not going to the library because it’s just filled with germs! So I am going to stay home for the most part and maybe go to Giant Eagle to get test break snacks. I am excited for the LSAT to be over after Saturday and finals to be over the following week and to get started on my law school apps and weight loss stuff.
Ah… to nap and get to work. I don’t want to waste a full study day on watching TV.
My eyes hurt right now for some odd reason. I didn’t get a good nights rest. I think I should probably take a nap before i get to work. Yea, I’m going to do that. Oh BTW. I have uped my weight loss goal from 115 to 127. Yep. I think I will look better. I’m going to the gym tomorrow.
study of law, Chanukah miracles and cuddles.
I don’t really have enough time to go into complete detail because I have class at 6 and I must complete an LSAT before then an a test afterwards before bed.
- I ran into my love interest yesterday at the menorah lighting on campus and he came over last night and was a complete gentleman. I actually tired to cancel but he was like no lol and my mother told me just go with it. So I did and I am glad I listened to her. He didn’t try to have sex with me, we just chilled and eventually cuddled. It was nice. I felt so relaxed. He was fun. We get a lot well. I am sure that by the end of the night I was drunk and my hair was ruined but that’s okay. I don’t even think he noticed and if he did, he didn’t say anything about it. Everything came together. It was nice and I am looking forward to hanging out with him again. After my LSAT of course.
- I really do understand the LSAT very well. Thank God. I only have eight days until the LSAT but I am so relaxed. I am at peace. God is with me, there is minimal reason to fret.
- I REALLY gotta work on my ECON paper and law school personal statement and etc. Damn it Me. I can do that this weekend and be alright. For now I am very relaxed and ready to get to work.
That’s all for now. Let’s see what the rest of the Chanukah miracles are.
LSAT and faith
There are ten days until the December LSAT. Ten days until the day or all days right now. I’m totally exhausted because I have my period and I have bad cramps . I want to rest and watch Sex In The City and Ally McBeal or even Boston Legal. But I know that I cannot, I must pray and push through the pain. The LSAT means so much more than people say it does. It is literally the bar exam for undergrads and people take it so lightly. I can see the b.s. that so-called study agencies are giving to students and I am not buying it. Yesterday my best friend ( we made up) and his love interest ( but only on her in) came to see me. I looked like crap but it’s okay I wasn’t trying to impress anyone. She asked me if I was nervous or scared and truthfully, I’m not. Not anymore at least. And that’s because I know that my God told me that he has a plan for my life. Plans to prosper me and to give me hope and a future. SO why should I feel discouraged? Why should I worry when my God has given me his word? The answer is simple, I do not. I can only do my best and I know that my best is pretty freaking high.
Ever since I started to appreciate my religion and start on my journey with Hashem I’ve been blessed; money to pay for tuition, to provide for myself, the understanding wit to manage my finances and not visit Banana Republic for clothing every or day. And the list goes on. Every week since 2008 the parshas have applied to my life and I’ve followed them. I feel reborn and ready. I spent months crawling. I spent a long time walking. I am ready to hit the ground running. I am over undergrad and looking forward to law school. I spoke with Rabbi Rabbi ( to protect his identity) and he bluntly told me ,” Listen it matters where you go. If it’s not a top 50 do not go there and if it’s a top 10 make sure you get in.” I appreciated his honesty more than anyone is because it was the honest truth. People are always telling me, “ It doesn’t really matter where you go.” And that’s bull. My university has the tendency to breed mediocrity but I am not of this place. My standards are high and my goals are higher. There are two hours until the menorah lighting on campus and I am going to light the menorah. Because I believe this is symbolic. There are eight days of Hanukkah, eight days of miracles and ten days until the LSAT. I believe these next eight days are going to be a period of spiritual and mental growth on my end. I am excited. I am ready and I am faithful. I fully trust the lord, which is why I am taking time away from my studies to honor him. He loves me and has blessed me with the skills to get the very highest score on this test if I try. So I have faith…I have success. Amen.
Proust Questionnaire
Proust Questionnaire.
1.) What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Being able to do with you love and having what you’re passionate about be what you’re good at doing. Also, being able to protect yourself and make your own decisions for your life. There is nothing more freeing than knowing that you have the right to do whatever you want and no one can hold you back or keep you hostage from completing your dreams using debt or sex. Knowing my rights and being able to express myself and live my life freely, without debt or fear or perverse sexual innuendos, is my ideal perfect happiness. I want everyone to feel that type of freedom. There is no other.
2.) What is your greatest fear?
Self inflicted failure.
3.) What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My ability to only see what I want to see when it comes to bad people i.e. men and woman. I know that someone isn’t my type but I would date him or I want to befriend the person no one is talking to. And rather than those people be happy that I was being kind they took that opportunity to seek revenge. So I stopped. I realized the one thing that they don’t want to teach you in elementary school: there really is something for everyone and some things and people don’t mix and , so long as it’s not purely racial, it’s okay.
4.) What is the trait you most deplore in others?
I detest people who practice Racism, Sexism, Low- Confidence, classlessness and weakness. I detest people who feel so inferior that their only answer is to try and make others feel inferior.
5.) Which living person do you admire?
Aside from my own mamma, whom I love with every ounce of my being.That’s easy, Former Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor. She is the pioneer for women in law. She broke the glass ceiling and managed to break the glass windows and doors that no one talks about. As I’ve gotten older and my study of law has depended, so has my level of respect and understanding for this amazing woman. She is my rock star, very much my Lady Gaga. After her there’s Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, New York Governor Hilary Rodham Clinton, Mellody Hobson and Queen Rania. There are other woman but these ladies are my rock stars. I admire them and I aspire to be better than they are, mostly because I know that if I aspired to be like them they would be disappointed in my aspirations.
6.) What is your greatest extravagance?
I like two things: really expensive and well made, which doesn’t have to be expensive. So I invest a great deal in well-made clothing and jewelry. I spend because the investment is great, especially with jewelry. I buy only real jewelry.
7.) What is your current state of mind?
Developmental. I am not there yet but I am far from where I was. I just don’t want to go back to her, that girl I was before. I have no lust for her personal conflict or her pain. I don’t desire her insecurity and constant need to explain herself to others. Thankfully, I no longer do this. I want to be changed. I want to exude the type of confidence and power that makes someone think, “ Wow, she is a force.” Sure I get that now but I want to preserve it and polish it.
8.) What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Honesty. In most real life situations it is useless. NO one really wants to hear that the sex wasn’t great, you fucked their best friend, their ass is huge, you hate their mother, they could use a mint or a tongue replacement and the list goes on. Honesty is only as good as the person you’re telling it to. I believe in lying when not under oath. If it’s not going to hurt anyone so what, lie. Lies can save your life or someone else’s, lies can preserve the feelings of someone who don’t want to hurt; just don’t lie at the risk of harming yourself. Telling someone that her dry unpalatable oatmeal cookies could use more cinnamon is quite different than telling someone that you had hot thoughts about her husband (just thoughts, I do not condone adultery in any sense!) or that you kissed her son one drunken night. For the love of God, privacy is a virtue that out ranks honesty anyday. Period. In the words of Ari Gold, “I love liars and hate cheaters.” Sure that means I am probably lying when I say you look fabulous and I suggest we go for a run but it feels better than me telling you, “ Damn Bertha, is that you?!” . Plus, I’m a lawyer. I’m either brutally honest or I am pulling your leg. There is no in between with me, deal.
9.) On what occasion do you lie?
Every occasion that suits my interests best and when I am not under oath. Period. I have no qualms with admitting that I lie. I don’t do it often but when I do it’s undetectable. I don’t lie for malicious reasons I lie for protection.
10.) What do you most dislike about your appearance?
I want to be slender but not sickly. I love the body of Scarlett Johansson and I would like something similar. My biggest issue is being fat. I am fat. I know I am fat. I am not going to pretend that I am a size “healthy” or “happy” I am a size “ down right fucking miserable at this size and avoiding mirrors and sex” so I want to lose weight for my own pleasure and benefit. Not for a man, although I think it would be easier to get one. Plud, I am vain and superficial.
11.) Which living person do you most despise?
My rapist, my Grandmother-if she’s living-, my ex (in all honesty, I deplore him) and the person who murdered the man I considered the love of my life and his sister. I truly believe a person who cannot foster enough emotion to hate cannot foster enough emotion to love.
12.) What is the quality you most like in a man?
Ah where do I begin? I adore men. I adore men in the way a chauvinist adores women. I kid, I kid. Honestly, I adore in men the qualities that seem to be lacking present day. I like first and foremost, financial savvy. I don’t want some cheap bastard who wears socks with holes in them when he is a fully capable of buying new socks, moreover, I don’t want some guy who is up to his ears in debt. A generous man who is smart about money is needed. He can tell me, “ Babe, those shoes are a grand, don’t be silly. Let’s go to Tiffany’s and get something worth the money.” LOL. (Yes, I am serious). That is a number one. I think any good and real man will make sure this is in order. You can call me a (fill in insult I couldn’t care less about here):_________ but I know enough to know that a mans financial situation says more about him than his favorite color and how much he loves his mother. Also, I appreciate sexuality, passion, respect and other gentlemanly qualities. It takes a REAL man to handle me.
13.) What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Self-respect, kindness, confidence, sexuality and virtue. Also, someone who can PARTY! Jello shots!
14.) What words or phrases do you most overuse?
I say “ money” for things that are superb , “B” or “My B” for boyfriend or baby, I also say “Doll” a lot. I’m a NYC bitch, so doll and fabulous are my calling cards. I call everyone doll, even my enemies. And I say “fabulous” about everything. I also say “ Are you kidding me?” and ” Don’t even go there.” I have too many sayings. I don’t have a stereotypically NYC accent or anything, but I sound funny.
15.) What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Pixar short films. But on a human level, I am not sure. Someone is. When I meet him, I’ll let you know.
16.) When and where were you happiest?
In my mother womb but one must be born and make the best of what we got. I’m also happiest with $6,000 in cash at Burberry. That only happened once and I didn’t buy anything from there ( I went next door to Nordstrom’s instead and Tiffany& Co afterwards) but it felt nice. I like nice things, the very best things. I have expensive taste and being able to curb my appetite feels amazing. *laughs*
17.) Which talent would you most like to have?
I have orgasms almost every single time that I have sex, so I figured I am covered. I would like to have the ability to eat ANYTHING and not gain a pound or get sick, like I do.
18.) If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I would have never cut my hair and I would’ve taken better care of it and it would be to my waist or longer. I’m Native American and that is a huge deal of us. I’m never cutting my hair again.
19.) What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Outliving 90% of my high school friends, not being a teenage mother and graduating from the University of my dreams Summa Cum.
20.) If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
I’d be water. It’s so reflective of a woman. It can bring life or death; it’s capable of being beautiful and brutal. It can be harmed but recover. Water is a phenomenal creation of God, like woman.
21.) Where would you most like to live?
New York City. Everywhere else people just exist.
22.) What is your most treasured possession?
It’s a secret but know that it has no monetary value but cost only opportunity cost and is priceless.
23.) What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Menstrual periods without 800mgs of Ibuprofen!
24.) What is your favorite occupation?
For me there is no option but to be an attorney, the very best damn attorney that I can possibly be. I love it and it loves me back. It’s what I am good at and willing to make sacrifices for.
25.) What is your most marked characteristic?
I’m bubbly and fun but I’m intense, sexual and calculating. I am known for being complex and I like it. I would say my complexity.
26.) What do you most value in your friends?
Loyalty. Everything else doesn’t matter.
27.) Who are your favorite writers?
I have many.
28.) Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Ratatoutille.
29.) Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Queen Elizabeth 1 and Queen Victoria. I don’t mean this in a pompous way but royalty and I really get each other, I think my blue blood (affectionately known as purple since I am a mixed breed) has maintained throughout the centuries.
30.) Who are your heroes in real life?
They may not always do it well but they endure and come out on top.
31.) What are your favorite names?
I prefer names that are exotic without diminishing hiring probability. I want my child to have a unique ethnic name that he can proudly show at Goldman Sachs.
32.) What is that you most dislike?
Chewing gum. Please just stop. I hate it.
33.) What is your greatest regret?
Not allowing myself to fully and truly be who I am until age 23.
34.) How would you like to die?
A legend. I want to leave a legacy and huge shoes to feel. I want people to hear my name and associate only greatness with it. I want to inspire people to keep on going no matter what the obstacles. Most importantly, I want to die an old lady, in silk pajamas in my Egyptian cotton sheets with my husband (if I marry). I want my great-grandchildren, nieces and nephews and my brothers to be alive and well. And I want a cheap ass funeral that involves nothing more than cotton and a few short prayers. Forget the fluff. I want happy-times and an open bar! I want a party to celebrate my life and laughter, none of that crying nonsense. Hell, I don’t gotta pay taxes anymore, drinks for everyone! Conversely, I want wedding the same way! I want a small affair and a BBQ reception or something. I ‘m a huge Sex In the City fan and SITC and friend Becca made my mind up about it. The money can be saved for a condo in Manhattan or a loft in Brooklyn, not a dress and fucking cake. I’ll save the blow out for my renewal of vows.
35.) What is your motto?
I do it for me.
